Pirates of the Caribbean

Watch it if You're Bored

We went to see this movie last night with some friends. That is what made it fun and worth watching. This Pirates, what is it the fourth one, had nothing new to offer. If you like Jack Sparrow, there should be a Captain in  there somewhere, then you will probably watch this movie. This story line was different from the others I guess since they were searching for the fountain of youth, but that was the only real difference. It had nothing  new to offer. As I was watching it, I got a strange feeling that I had seen this movie, like three times already. I liked the mermaid/preacher story line. But I don't recommend spending money or valuable time on this movie.

I would say it is a good family movie, kids are the ones that will really like the comedy, but there is some graphic violence that I don't recommend for young kids. Not a whole lot to say about this movie. It is the fourth one after all so everyone pretty much knows everything there is to know about Pirates. I will say you will get exactly what you expect from this movie.

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Fast Five

MatinĂ©e 
If you are a fan of the Fast and Furious movies, you will like this one. It was full of unbelievable action, crime, scantily clad women, and of course fast cars. (For a full list of the cars in the film click here) It had a bit of an Oceans 11 feel to it. But at least that meant it had a plot. But with this kind of action, it is just better on a big screen, but don't pay full price.

So honestly, as a movie lover, I have to say this movie, as a movie, was pretty terrible. I mean what was rotten tomatoes thinking? 79%?  Really? The critics must all be big Fast and Furious fans. Like I said if you are a fan you will like this movie. But as a film, it was terrible. What more can you expect from a movie that the best leading actor is Vin Diesel. The supporting cast carried the bulk of the acting talent. Ludacris, Matt Schulze and Sung Kang all did a great job. Tyrese of course did not. A lot of the bad writing came out through his mouth. His shining moment happened when he was driving the police car in the final chase. It was the first time he convincingly delivered his cheesy lines. Dwayne Johnson also had a few cheesy lines. He did what he could but his acting skills are not refined enough to cover up that much poor writing. Paul Walker had one moment where he wasn't terrible. When he found out that he may not have won the race against Dom fair and square his shock and disbelief were actually convincing. Much better than his reaction to finding out his girlfriend was pregnant, when he felt forced and underwhelming. He found out right after they were jumping from roof to roof, dodging bullets, and he didn't even freak out that her life, and the baby's, had just been in so much danger.

My favorite characters were Leo and Santos. They brought a delightful element of comedy. They formed the classic sidekick duo. Their inseparable bond was forged by the constant mocking of the other.  They made some great laughs. Dwayne Johnson got completely ripped for this movie. He was huge and finally got to show a little of his tribal tattoos. And this movie had the scene we were all waiting for:  Vin Diesel vs. The Rock. It was a great fight. It didn't last too long, though they managed to almost destroy a part of the building.

The opening bus crash was completely unbelievably. Their plan for escape was to flip a bus? And miraculously no one was hurt? That is just impossible and stupid. Then the whole driving off a cliff, falling hundreds of feet and coming out unscathed? It was a bit much, even for a Fast and Furious movie. It was kind of funny to hear all the gasps from the people around me as they drove off the cliff. It was in every preview I saw so it was interesting to hear so many people still surprised by it. You couldn't have possibly seen anything about the movie without knowing that part.

Obviously the best part of the movie was the cars, and in this one a sweet Ducati Street Racer.  The flash to all the nice extravagant cars at the end of the film was beautiful. Han's Lexus LFA made me drool.  And speaking of the end of the movie, looks like they are planning a sixth. It could be set in Berlin. As it just so happens Han and Gisele were in Berlin at the end of this film so they may be in the line up for the next one. Tokyo Drift was my favorite Fast and Furious so a little more Han is fine with me. Also looks like Dwayne Johnson may be contributing to that one as well. I will not be sad if Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster are done. I personally will not miss them. But  as long as they keep making Fast and Furious movies, people will keep paying to see them. And I will be one of them, though I will never line up for it on opening night.

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